


Eventually our Thoughts are Our Worlds

by Elliotts_Rambles



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29188476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elliotts_Rambles/pseuds/Elliotts_Rambles
Summary: Set after the war with Gaea, the demigods we know and love are struggling to cope. I'm a little behind on reading, so it may not be entirely up to date. A bunch of stories of how they each cope, healthily or unhealthily, individually and with their friends. May eventually develop a plot, but as of now is planned to be a series of anecdotes. Mostly just comfort, as I feel like having the characters going through things I do comforts me, and might comfort you, too. I think they would all cope differently, so not all of these are things I have struggled with, but their general feelings and attitudes are things me or people I know have had to deal with.TRIGGER WARNING-PTSD, self-harm, eating disorders, may be more that I will put in the beginning notes.
Relationships: Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Luke Castellan/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Jason Grace, Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Paul Blofis & Percy Jackson, Paul Blofis/Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Hazel Levesque
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Introduction and Hi

Hi! I'm Elliott, as you can probably tell from the pseudo. This is the first ff I've written, so please bear with me. I will do my best to put trigger warnings in the beginning notes of every chapter, but please tell me if I've missed something. There will be both canon and not canon ships and relationships, but I'm still catching up with the new books. I hope you enjoy reading and I hope it can bring you some comfort. Comments are welcomed and appreciated!


	2. I Feel Safer When I'm in Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy and Sally bond 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING-restrictive eating disorder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING-restrictive eating disorder
> 
> I'll do my best to exclude any numbers like calories or weight in future chapters, as I know those can be triggering. (This one doesn't have any numbers)

The sun seemed harsh, as always. The violent beams streamed in shards through the folds of the blinds and onto the form laying on the floor. He squinted his eyes, lashes drenched in sunlight, eyebrows pushed together, raising his hand to shield his face. He blinked a few times and scrunched his eyes together before laying his head back on the floor and closing his eyes with a shallow sigh.

Clothes were strewn all across the carpeted floor, an array of blacks and blues and reds and greens. Stacked in the corner were columns of books, while a thin layer of paper and pens covered the desk on the other side of the room. Candy wrappers had been pushed under the bed, along with unfinished homework and a calculator. There were plants at points around the room, some on the windowsill, others on the desk, and more yet on the nightstand. A large terrarium sat on the large dresser by the window. It was more tall than wide. Logs and plants were inside, supporting Taco, a blue panther chameleon.

The boy on the floor rolled over to his other side, now facing his bed and not the window. He let his shoulder and hip sink into the floor. He sighed again. He’d been staring at the walls and ceiling for hours. He had been too tired to get up that morning. He could do this. He would count to three, and then he would sit up. His head would lift up and he would push himself off the floor with his hands. He could do this. He could do this. It was going to be okay. It was going to be okay. It was _going to be okay._ It had to be okay. He took a deep breath, in and out. _1, 2, 3._ He sat up, but quickly fell back down. His arms felt so heavy, and he was so tired. He was so tired. His whole body felt like it could sink into the floor. He just wanted to close his eyes, and maybe even never open them again. _1, 2, 3._ He tried again, but only managed to tense his muscles for just a moment.

He looked around at his room. He remembered it being blue. There were beautiful blue walls and dark blue blankets on his bed, and a blue office chair at the desk, but now everything seemed so grey. The sunlight was harsh and hurt his eyes, but he kept staring at his wall. It seemed so grey and lifeless, like it had lost all of its pigment and was left with hollow veins, a shadow of the beautiful color it used to be. There were pictures of his friends all over the wall. There were some of Annabeth, some of Grover, some of Jason, some of Nico. There were pictures of everyone at camp, pictures of the seven together, pictures of the Fifth Cohort from Camp Jupiter. Yet they all seemed so far away. They seemed unreachable, and his smiling face in the photos seemed distant. He couldn’t even remember smiling like that. He couldn’t really remember experiencing pure joy. His eyes travelled down the wall to the floor. It was once a light blue, but it had been covered in dirt and scuffs, and on a few occasions, blood. He stared at the trail of blood Apollo had left. He wished he could sink into the carpet like the blood, and felt heavy enough that he probably could.

He needed to get up. He has to get up. He has to. _Okay._ He took a deep breath. _In through the mouth, and out through the nose._ Again. _In through the mouth,_ he sucked in a stream of air and felt his stomach expand, _out through the mouth_. He released it all with a sigh. A couple of shallow breaths ensued. _Okay. This time. I can do it. I can do it. I can get up. My body feels heavy and I’m tired, but I can do it. 1, 2, 3._ He sat up and slouched over, hanging his head and letting his arms relax. _Great. I did it. I sat up, I can stand up. I’ll just put my hand on the floor and stand up. Phew. Okay_. He straightened his back and put his hand on the floor. He lifted himself to his feet. _Okay. I did it. I got up. Now to brush my teeth_. He walked to the bathroom and wrapped his hands around the edges of the sink. He leaned against it and breathed. Letting his neck and shoulders relax, he stared into the mirror. It was spattered with flecks of toothpaste and water stains, and there was a piece where the reflective part had come off. He looked into his eyes. _That’s me. That’s what I look like. That person is me._ At times, the world didn’t seem real, and sometimes he couldn’t fully register that he had a body and existed on the earth. He started into his eyes, still an almost glowing green, but his face still looked unfamiliar to him. His eye bags had darkened, and his eyelids drooped. A few strands of curly dark hair fell into his face, while the rest remained a tangled mess. His cheekbones had been standing out more, and he looked grey. He looked lifeless. He grabbed his toothbrush and rinsed and put toothpaste on it. When he raised his hand to brush his teeth, his lips were so chapped that it hurt him to open his mouth so much. He spit out the toothpaste and washed his face, drying it off with a pale blue towel. _Okay. Time to eat._

He dragged himself into the kitchen and saw his mom curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and a book. She lifted her face to look at him, blue eyes sparking behind her glasses, and offered a sympathetic smile. “Hi, baby.” She paused, thinking for a second before continuing. She looked him up and down hesitantly. She set her book and wine down on the coffee table with a rustle and a clink before folding her hands in her lap and looking her son in the eyes. “Percy, baby,” her tone was soft and laced with concern. She had a nice voice, clear and projected, but still gentle and warm. “Are you okay?” Percy looked down at his feet for a second, noting his rumpled hoodie and old sweatpants. He must have been wearing them for a few days by now. His face remained expressionless, his eyes dead. He took a step in his mother’s direction, and then another, before rushing towards her. She opened her arms and he drooped into them. “Oh, baby.” Sally sighed, and ran her fingers through his tangled hair. She placed a kiss on his head, and then rested her cheek against the top of his head. Percy stared at the couch below them. He was so tired.

They sat like that, breathing and holding each other, and Sally sighed in the confirmation that he was not okay. She rubbed circles on his back, and he stared blankly into space. After a while, and after Sally noted the time, she wondered aloud, “Have you eaten anything today?” Percy kept staring. He felt terrible about lying to her, but if he told her the truth she would worry about him more, and he would probably have to eat. The thought of eating scared him, _I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to eat, and the food will just pile up on my bones, and I look disgusting. If I eat then I’ll have to watch the number on the scale go up, and remember that sinking feeling of failure? Remember the panic attacks and crying spells after gaining weight? I hadn’t planned to eat anything today, so I can’t. I can’t gain weight. I don’t deserve it._

“Yeah,” he lied. “I had some eggs this morning and an apple for a snack and I Post-mated a sandwich for lunch.” He rattled off a list of foods he hand’t eaten. He felt terrible about lying to her.

“Okay. Are you hungry now?”

“Not really.”

She nodded. “Do you want to go get ice cream? You can get blue raspberry if you want.”

Ice cream sounded so nice. _I really like the blue raspberry, it’s so good._ The memory of the taste filled his mouth. The ice cream would always melt in his mouth, and then the sweetness would drip down his throat with a cold delicacy. Ice cream sounded really, really nice. “No thanks. I’m not really in the mood.”

“Okay.”

Percy hummed and sighed into her arms before pushing himself up to sit next to her. He thought for a moment, formulating a question in his mind. “Hey, Mom?”

“Mhm?”

“Um…Can we watch a movie together tonight?” He looked at his hands and nervously waited for her answer.

“Of course, baby. Did you have one in mind” she asked with a warm smile.

“I kind of want to watch a Disney movie or something. Something nostalgic I think.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Hmmmmmm. How does The Emperor’s New Groove sound?”

“Yeah, okay, let’s watch that one.”

She stood up to get a blanket, and casted the movie to the TV in front of them. Percy sank into Sally’s side, and she rubbed circles into his scalp with her fingertips. He hummed and the movie began to play. With a small smile, he closed his eyes and sighed, not actually intending to watch the movie. Sally kissed his forehead, and Percy relaxed in her arms for the first time in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the first chapter I've ever written on here, so yeah. In the past books Percy would often skip meals when he was upset, and I think that would carry over into the aftermath of the wars. He also lacked a lot of control in his life, and hated that the gods got to decide what he did and when in regards to the wars. Restricting eating disorders tend to often be centered around control, as food and calories is something that can be controlled. 
> 
> As for the colors of his room, there have been a couple of studies suggesting that in the long-term, depression can cause all colors to look more neutral and drab than they would to a healthy person. When rereading The Lightning Thief, he seemed depressed in the beginning and had a lot of the signs in adolescents. I'm not a mental health professional, so this is just my own observation. 
> 
> I really like how close Sally and Percy are, and I wanted him to be comforted by someone he trusted.
> 
> I don't know yet when or how often updates will be, but I think I left myself enough freedom that I won't get bored and abandon this ff. 
> 
> Also I can't figure out how to get the format to transfer over


	3. Green is Kind of Close to Blue, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annabeth and Percy-they're both struggling some, and it's Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for a very very very brief mention of an eating disorder  
> More detailed talk of workaholicism

It was so cute, only the length of her hand, with a triangle face and a spiral tail. Its tiny fingers wrapped around the branch it was standing on, while its big, round eyes darted around. Annabeth lowered her face to the glass wall of the enclosure, her face and golden curls in the reflection. She raised an elegant hand to lift a strand of hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. The label on the glass read, in a bold white font, _Panther Chameleon-Care Level: Easy_. The chameleon flicked its tongue out and back into its mouth and moved farther up the branch. Annabeth lifted her sharp gaze off the adorable animal and looked around the store for an employee. It was a particularly large store, with florescent lighting and rows and rows of pet supplies and enclosures with small animals. They had everything from ferrets to bearded dragons to parakeets, all arranged neatly in their respective area of the store. She walked across the speckled tiles a small ways, past dog and cat treats and found a woman rearranging the dog collars. The woman looked tall and strong, and she smiled at Annabeth when she noticed her approaching, faint smile lines appearing around her eyes.

“Hi, can I help you,” she asked politely with a deep gravelly voice like chocolate.

Annabeth tilted up her chin and said, “Yeah, actually. I was wondering if you had a care guide for the chameleons?”

“Yep, for sure! Follow me they’re right over here,” and led Annabeth down more aisles to a tall shelf with stacks of folders and dug through a few. “Ummmm just one second. Should be right in here. Aha!” She handed Annabeth a thick packet and explained, “So here we have this organized so that there’s food over here,” she pointed to a paragraph, “then over here we have enclosure needs, vitamins, handling and socialization.” She flipped through the pages and pointed out each section and footnotes with recommended veterinarians and lights. “Do you have any questions for me?”

“I might after I read this, but not yet.”

“Welp, okay then! Just come back here after you read the packet and we can get you all situated with the supplies, okay!” She smiled with a slight raise of her shoulders and turned to walk the other way.

“Thank you,” Annabeth called.

“My pleasure!”

Annabeth sat at her desk, flipping through the packet while cross-referencing with the information on her laptop. Her blonde curls were pulled up in a messy bun, loose strands falling out of the sides and back, and her jeans, belted trench-coat, and sweater lay scattered across her bed. She’d exchanged them for one of Percy’s hoodies, which almost fit her perfectly, and some athletic shorts. She moved her feet to rest on the chair, and set her arm on her knee. After some more reading and jotting down notes with her pen, she lifted her arms to stretch, letting the sleeves slide down a little, and looked around her room. She’d had the same room for years, but it had changed so much that it was almost recognizable. Her bookshelves and slowly filled with books, and now there were so many that some lay horizontal in stacks in front of the others. There was a blueprint of Mount Olympus on one of her walls, and a bulletin board in front of her desk. The bulletin board had everything from pictures of her friends to sketches and designs, to reminders to do her homework. Pinned at eye level was her favorite picture. It showed Percy, with his old red raincoat and a heavy back pack, and her, with her camp t-shirt and pigtails, pettily glaring at each other, while grover folded his Rasta cap in between them. It took her back to when it was taken, right before their first quest. She smiled and let out a sigh. She used to be excited about quests, about fighting in the war, saving the world. She’d lost that excitement. She moved her focus and let it wander around the room. She had always kept her room fairly neat, but at times, when things would get bad, she would spend days on end in there, eating and sleeping forgotten. The crumpled papers and used up pencils would collect on the floor, and she wouldn’t be away from her work long enough to put away her laundry or vacuum. Pausing meant thinking about the wars, about Tartarus, and about Luke. And sometimes she couldn’t handle that.

She took a deep breath and went back to her research.

The next day Annabeth walked out of the store with bags and bags of supplies, and, of course, the chameleon. She leaned over to put the supplies into the backseat of her car, put the chameleon in its box on the floor of the passenger’s seat, and started on her way. The city was covered in a thin layer of snow. Christmas lights adorned the buildings, and shops advertised their holiday deals and discounts. Soon, the familiar brick apartment buildings popped up in the distance. Her leg shook and she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. What if he didn’t like it? She got closer to the apartment and her anxiety grew. What if he didn’t like it. She felt like she knew him so well, like he had become a part of her, but what if he didn’t like it? She came to a stop at a red light and put her head down on the steering wheel and shut her eyes tight. _In 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, out 2, 3, 4, rest 2, 3, 4. In, 2, 3, 4, hold 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, rest, 2, 3, 4. In 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, rest, 2-_

The blaring of a car horn filled her world. _Holy Hera! Okay. Okay. The light is green. Go._ She gently pressed the toe of her sneaker agains the gas pedal, and the car glided forward. Everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay. She passed by a line of cars and parked behind a Prius with dents on the top. She opened her car door to get the chameleon, and then the other to get the supplies before locking her car, and made her way to the door. The doorman swung the door open and greeted her. After a few gruelingly long moments, the elevator dinged that she had reached the fifth floor. _In, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4, out, 2, 3, 4, rest 2, 3, 4._ She stepped out of the elevator. Just one foot in front of the other. She had to set the supplies down to jingle her keys out of her trench coat pocket. It was a nice jacket, a black cashmere with big buttons on the front. Her dad had bought it for her.

She fit the keys into the lock, hands shaking, and pushed open the wooden door.

“Mmm! Hi!” Sally scrambled off the couch, wine in hand. She took a moment to swallow whatever she had been eating. She set the wine glass down on the table by the front door and opened her arms for a hug.

“Hi, Sally. I’ve missed you so much,” Annabeth said into the hug.

Sally hummed in agreement. “You should come visit more often, you know you’re welcome here anytime.” She stepped back and smiled her warm smile. Her blue eyes always sparkled and the tiny smile lines only seemed to bring them out more.

“Thank you.”

“Come inside. Do you want a cookie,” Sally asked as she picked up her wine glass and set it on the coffee table in front of where she was sitting earlier, next to a plate full of blue chocolate cookies.

“Yeah, of course!” Annabeth picked one off the plate and set the chameleon on the coffee table, dropping the bags onto the floor and collapsing onto the couch. “Mmmm, these are the _best_.”

“Oh, you flatter me. Do you want some help setting all of this stuff up?

“If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Let’s bring these into Percy’s room. I asked him a few questions about where he would want something, but don’t worry I didn’t tell him anything.”

They made it to the blue room and started putting stuff up. They set up the enclosure on the dark dresser and added substrate and plants and logs, before moving on to the heat lamps and humidity gauge, and finally worked out a few kinks and made sure everything was taken care of. After a few minutes of making sure everything was working as it was supposed to, they gently coaxed the chameleon inside its new home.

“There you go,” Sally whispered as it made its way up a branch. They both stood back and smiled. “This was a great idea, he’s going to love this.”

“I sure hope so.”

Sally patted Annabeth’s shoulder and turned to leave the room. “Do you want to help me get everything else ready? It’s alright if you don’t, I know you’ve been working a lot and I’m sure you’re tired.”

Annabeth thought about it for a second. She could go help Sally, probably wrapping presents and setting the table, or she could sit and watch TV. She was very tired, but watching TV meant her mind might wander back to her memories. “I can help. Don’t worry about it, I’m fine,” but her eyelids were drooping and her hands hurt from carrying all of the bags for so long.

Sally set to work in the kitchen, while Annabeth sat on the floor by the Christmas tree wrapping some last-minute presents. They played old Christmas songs on the Alexa and danced and sang along. They each found songs of which they knew the lyrics by heart.

About half an hour later, the door swung open and Paul walked in with a baby stroller.

“Hi, Annabeth! How have you been?”

“Pretty good, Paul. Thanks for asking.”

“Yep. Estelle and I went to the park to go see the snow.”

“What did she think”, Sally asked from the kitchen.

“Eh. She seemed pretty indifferent, actually,” Paul answered while he hung up his coat and took of his gloves, then Estelle’s. “Someone needs a diaper changed.” Annabeth chuckled and Paul brought his daughter to a different room. He came back a few moments later with a better-smelling Estelle.

He helped Sally in the kitchen and sang Christmas songs with then while they waited for Percy to come home. Percy had had to go to New Rome to work out battle plans and strategize, and he’d been there for weeks. On the phone he’d sounded miserable. They would have meetings all day and then he would have to go finish his homework and study until the early morning, with no days off. Annabeth thought about him while she tied the ribbon on the last present she’d had to wrap. She sighed and put it under the Christmas tree, next to one addressed to her.

The door lock started to open, and they could all hear keys jingling outside it. Percy pushed the door open and dragged a suitcase and a backpack through the doorway, while Sally ran from the kitchen to go hug him. He all but collapsed into her arms. Annabeth stood to go greet him, but his face was buried in Sally’s shoulder. He stayed there more moments, holding onto her for dear life. He clutched her shirt with his bandaid-covered hands and stepped back to look at her face. He noticed Annabeth and surged forward to kiss her. His lips were chapped. He wrapped his arms around her as she did him. He’d lost weight again. They separated and Annabeth held on to the salty taste in her mouth. She held his face in her hands, rubbing her thumb across his cheekbone. There were tears in his eyes and he looked like he wanted to cry. He stepped away and set his bags against the wall.

“Hey, kid. We’ve missed you.” Paul appeared from the kitchen, head tilted with concern.

“Hey, Paul. I-I’ve missed you guys,” he admitted, and his voice cracked.

Sally rubbed his back. “Let’s take your stuff to your room, okay baby?”

Percy nodded and grabbed his backpack, while Sally rolled his suitcase down the hall. Annabeth walked next to Percy. What if he didn’t like it?

He suddenly stopped in front of his doorway, mouth open slightly in surprise.

“Merry Christmas, Seaweed Brain,” Annabeth said with a gentle smile.

“It’s a male, and, of course, you get to name him,” Sally added.

Percy rushed into his room and almost pressed himself against the glass of the enclosure.

Annabeth followed and asked, “Do you like him?”

Percy was silent for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah! I love him. He’s so cute.” He stared at the chameleon. “He’s shaped like a taco.”

Annabeth and Sally laughed. “Yeah, I guess so,” Sally agreed.

Annabeth got a kiss and Sally got a hug, and they made their way to the kitchen to eat. Annabeth pretended not to notice Percy slip a small present with her name on it out of his jacket and put it under the tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was Taco's origin story! I really want a chameleon but can't because they're hard to take care of :(  
> Anyway, I really like Sally and Annabeth bonding.   
> Still not sure about chapter updates, but it probably won't be every night.   
> Best wishes to you all!  
> Also it's not Christmas, but my friend mentioned that I should write one about Christmas


	4. I'll be There When You Need Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason has a small crisis at school, and Piper is there to help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The most recent book I have read was the first Trials of Apollo Book. I know that stuff goes down with Jason and Piper, and vaguely what happens, but not any of the details. This is probably between then and The Blood of Olympus.

School was hard, to say the least. Every day, Jason walked into a crowded hallway, everyone moving and talking and shuffling, and he’d clutch the straps of his backpack and take a deep breath. School was unlike anything he had ever seen before. It was big and loud, and the big fluorescent lights buzzed. There was this obnoxious bell that would blare at the start and end of every period, 14 times a day. Everyone sat in cramped, tiny desks while a teacher yelled from over by the whiteboard. There were a lot of assignments. Oftentimes, Jason would leave school with hours worth of homework and reading. He rarely had time for anything else. At least Piper was with him. Piper was nice. He liked Piper.

“Hey,” said Piper, swinging her arms and slipping a hand into Jason’s.

“Hey.”

“You ready for APUSH?” She waved her free hand in the direction of the classroom.

“Yeah.”

They cut through the current of people moving in every direction and way with a lot of “excuse me”s and tilting of bodies. Piper kept holding Jason’s hand and her dark, rich skin tone contrasted beautifully with Jason’s tan one. Piper liked to swing her arms when she walked. Jason had noticed on their first date, the first time he really saw her without the stress of the looming war. She also went all the way up to the balls of her feet when she walked, he’d noticed. Between her arms and steps she bounced up and down and it made her hair floof up and then fall back onto her shoulders. She’d exchanged the harpy feather for beads, as the mortals might have found it odd or gotten suspicious. Her dad had boughten her a new windbreaker, similar to the one she’d lost on their field trip to the Grand Canyon.

That felt like so long ago. Jason had been really scared, waking up with no one around him that he knew, no familiarity anywhere, not even himself. It was terrifying. But Piper and Leo were there to help. They both stood out to him immediately, and they were nice to him. They of course got angry when he did something wrong, which was fair. Everyone had been frustrated and stressed and every mistake could have been their last. But no matter how angry they got, he was never hurt. They never threw anything at him or screamed insults or punished him to clean the stables of fight more monsters. They never made him feel like there was something wrong with him, only his actions. He’d relied on them a lot then. Of course he did, they were there. They accepted him and tried to help protect him, and they fought alongside him. But that thought kept crawling back into his mind. If they weren’t demigods, if they had just met at school or in some extracurricular, would they have been friends? Would he have started dating Piper? He had always felt bad that all of the good, happy things Piper remembered about their relationship never really happened, but was he justified in wondering if he would have liked her otherwise?

It was like the three of them had just been pushed together out of nowhere, and after spending so much time together they just got attached. And yeah, Piper was pretty. Piper was really pretty, and she had a really cute laugh. He really liked the way her hair bounced up and down, and how brilliant she was in battle. Of course he liked her…Right?

They had already made it to their classroom and begun their class. Their teacher was a really sweet woman who always tried to make learning fun and get them excited about APUSH. She was clearly very passionate about history, and knew the answer to every question, even if it didn’t have to do with their current unit. She didn’t hold back or gloss over details when it came to historic events. She made sure that everyone knew what likely happened, and sometimes connected it back to modern times or asked the students to imagine themselves in that time period. But, no matter how nice she was, nothing could make Jason excited about history. It had seemed kind of boring. He knew it was important, it really was. It’s important to make sure some parts of history don’t repeat themselves, and that they could really understand how the modern world came to be. But still, Jason wasn’t excited to learn about battle plans in the Civil War, he’d already been in a war. He already knew that you cut off access to supplies, and make sure that the enemy is divided.

Oh no. That was a bad idea. Images of the war flashed through his mind. He remembered everything. He remembered watching his friends die, watching his only home destroyed. It had been so abrupt, and it haunted him to see bodies scattered across the grass, knowing that their blood was still warm, and they had been living, breathing, kids with plans to hang out that weekend or go to college in the city or ask that one person out. He had stared at them, boring his eyes into their flesh. He had kept watching their chests, waiting for them to breathe. For the months before the war, he had been up late with Reyna planning and planning and planning. They had grueled over maps and diagrams, looking at the lists of soldiers they were about to send off to their deaths.

It almost felt like he was back. He could hear the screams and cries of demigods and monsters alike, see the blood spill out of wounds, and gold turn red. There had been sand everywhere, covering the green grass he had run around in as a child. He could almost feel his sword in his hand, big and heavy and balanced. He remembered the way his armor had felt on his shoulders, how in jostled and wilted when a monster got too close to killing him. He hadn’t been stabbed or undergone any major injuries during the Titan War, but the War with Gaea had been a different story. He had been so close to death. Jason looked down at his stomach, at the folds of his orange Camp-Half-Blood hoodie, and watched. He kept waiting and waiting for that split second, when all of a sudden he would see the tip a bloody sword come out. He was in danger. He was in danger. Every muscle in his body tensed, and he gripped the bottom of his plastic chair with all his strength. He scrunch his eyes shut, blond eyebrows furrowed together in the middle. It was so bright. The fluorescent lights felt like they were piercing into his skull. He didn’t feel safe. Any second now, any second, he sword would come out, and he would have that horrible moment of realization that he’d been stabbed, that that might be the last thing he ever saw. His heart raced with adrenaline, and his blood pumped, and he had to stop his hand from grabbing his sword. No. No. There weren’t any monsters here. He was at school. There weren’t any monsters at school.But…Did he really know that? Monsters could be everywhere, anywhere. He had thought he was safe, and then he was stabbed. He looked around the room frantically, gaze dashing from face to face, looking for a monster. No! What was he thinking? He was at school! They were his classmates! They were just regular mortals! Yeah. They were just mortals. He was at school. He was safe. He was safe. He was safe. He was safe goddamnit! But why was he still breathing so quickly. It was like the air stopped just before his lungs filled, like he was always one little bit of air away from a full breath. He needed to breath. No, no, no. He was safe.

The bell rang with an obnoxious pitch. It was so loud. _Crack!_ Jason looked down at his hands. He’d broken his chair. Everyone was looking at him. He needed to say something uplifting, something encouraging and motivational. Oh gods, what was he going to say? How could he get thirty tired teenagers to do their best and not be afraid in the face of mortal danger? Wait. No! He didn’t have to, he was at school. Right. He was at school.

“Hey.” Piper waited for a response. “Hey! Jason!”

Jason snapped his head up, finding her beautiful eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Her tone softened and she reached a hand out to cup his cheek in her hand. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Jason ran his hands through his short blond hair and looked around the floor for answers. What was going on? What was he supposed to say? “I-I-I just-I don’t know. I don’t know,” he stammered.

Piper grabbed his fingers. She tilted her head down and looked up to find his eyes. She locked her shifting eyes into his bright blue ones. “Hey. Take a deep breath. Okay. Let’s see I think I remember this.” She looked around the classroom. It was almost empty. She paused when she saw their teacher. The teacher looked up after Piper tried to get her attention and looked at Jason. She approached slowly, non-threateningly.

“How about I write you guys passes and you can go sit in the hall or the library or find some quiet spot and sit before your next class. Or would you want to go see the nurse? She’s very nice and understanding, I promise,” the teacher offered as she scribbled their names and her signature on neon slips of papers.

“I think the library should be okay. Thank you though.” Piper turned her attention back to Jason and squeezed his fingers in hers. “Come on.” She pulled him through the dwindling crowds of people and made their way to the library. They sat down one one of the couches and Piper rested her legs on top of his.

Jason still couldn’t breathe. His muscles were so tense. Everything was so bright and loud. He put his head in his hands and tried not to think.

The librarian silently asked Piper if everything was okay with a look. Piper knew what to do. She’d learned it from her therapist. She turned back to Jason. “Hey. Jason, what are five things you can see right now. They don’t have to be profound or important, just as long as you can see them.”

He took a shaky breath and glanced around quickly. He still seemed agitated. “Um…I guess there’s you. And the carpet. And the doors. Um….” He clicked his tongue and looked at Piper. She nodded. “There’s my shoes, and over there is a desk.”

“Four things you can hear.”

“Your voice, the librarian shelving books. I’m talking. And…the air conditioner.”

“Three things you can feel.”

“Your hands, the sofa, and your legs.”

“Two things you can smell.”

Jason chuckled. “You smell like cinnamon. And then there’s the school smell.”

Piper smiled. “Yeah it always smells like this.” She wrinkled her nose. “One thing you can taste.”

“I had a Jolly Rancher earlier.”

Piper hummed in agreement. “Are you okay?”

Jason nodded with a small, “Yeah.”

“Yeah.” She hesitated for a second and looked away. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” Jason’s breath was still evening out, and he hadn’t completely relaxed his muscles. “My therapist told me that. It’s supposed to help with panic attacks. S’pposed to bring you back to reality.”

Jason nodded.

“I had started seeing her after I,” she tilted her head for a moment,”you know-borrowed something. They thought I must have some kind of issue, that there was something wrong with me. They thought seeing someone could help straighten me out. I think, for a bit my dad wanted me to see her and then come back all convenient and well-behaved, like I was when I waslittle. I thought it was bullshit and I wanted nothing to do with her. I tried to be as closed off as possible. It took more than a couple of years of her questions to get me to open up. It’s nice having her. I like her. She’s a demigod, so I can actually talk to her about monsters and the war.” Piper rested her head on Jason’s knee. She sighed.

Jason thought back to the week before, when he had passed by Piper in the halls. She had been crying and wailing with her face in her hands as some lady led her to the front office. After school, when Jason had called to ask what was happening, she had only shrugged and said she was too tired to think about it. He wondered if the same thing had happened to her. “Hey, Piper?”

She responded with a small, “Mmm?”

“Someday, in more than a couple years,” he hesitated, “do you think you’ll open up to _me?”_

Piper paused at the question. She thought for a moment. “Maybe.”

Jason hummed a silent “okay.” “I’ll be here with that naming senses thing when you need me.”

She squeezed his hand like she didn’t want to ever let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you liked it. The thing she used was called 5-4-3-2-1 and is common for calming down when panicked. I feel like Piper is generally more closed-off about her problems, and prefers to deal with them herself (or with a therapist). I think Jason might be one of the ones who are fine until after their traumatic event ends, and falls apart when they're safe, which I'm told is fairly common. I'll try to update some time next week but school has been a mess, so I'm not sure.


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